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Atheist Limericks

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There was a young fellow from Trinity,
who took the square root of infinity.
But the number of digits,
gave him the fidget;
he dropped Math and took up Divinity.

Gamow, George (1947) “One, Two, Three… Infinity”

A vice both obscene and unsavory
holds the Bishop of London in slavery;
with lascivious howls
he deflowers young owls
that he lures to an underground aviary.

Hitchens, Christopher (2011) “Hitch 22″

There was a young man who said: ‘Ayer
has answered the atheist’s prayer,
for a Hell one can’t verify
surely can’t terrify -
at least till you know you are there.’

Anon

There was a young girl from Shanghai
who was so exceedingly shy
that undressing at night,
she turned out the light
for fear of the All-seeing Eye.

attributed to Bertrand Russell (appears in Blackwell, Kenneth & Ruja, Harry (2003) ‘A Bibliography of Bertrand Russell’ p 688)

The Bible reads better when seen,
through a rich allegorical screen.
So a text that is vexed
need not leave us perplexed:
it can mean what we want it to mean.

Kieckhefer, Richard (2010) ’There Once Was a Serpent: A History of Theology in Limericks’

A dyslexic insomniac agnostic
lay awake thinking thoughts diagnostic,
with his mind in a fog,
asking, “Is there a dog?”
and other thoughts nearly as caustic.

Anon

A Lutheran pastor named Herman
lost his faith in the midst of a sermon.
He tumbled from grace
with a smile on his face
and began quoting Nietzche, in German.

Emma Woolgatherer (2011)

There once was a pious young priest
who lived almost wholly on yeast.
“For”, he said, “it’s plain
we must all rise again,
and I want to get started at least.”

Anon



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